“We say bye bye”, they told him. After all those hours of practice. Just say bye.

But that was China.

Not every day was that bad. Some days the wind swept through and the city was revealed. The buildings sparkled in the sun and you could see the ring of mountains surrounding the city.

But most of the time there was just a constant haze in the air.

We got used to checking our air quality apps on our phones. We’d often play air pollution bingo in the morning before we opened the curtains. What number was it going to be today? 50 was amazing, 180 was about average and 300 was go back to bed, try not to breathe.

I learnt lots of phrases about the weather in my Chinese lessons but the one I used most often while attempting to chit chat with taxi drivers was ‘congqi bu hao’ – bad air.

The air was a source of annoyance more than anything for the first few months, then I fell pregnant with Teddy and everything changed. I could handle breathing the yuck, but the anxiety about its effects on the babe was unbearable for a chronic worrier like myself.

We got more masks, more air purifiers and we even had a company come in to check the air quality in the apartment. I know.

Teddy arrived in May last year and we found new parenthood tough, especially as we could rarely go outside.

I remember walking Teddy in his pram around the complex in the pouring rain one afternoon because it had been the first opportunity to go outside in days. We got soaked but at least we made it outside.

So it was I left Alex working in Beijing and took my 11-week-old bundle on what was meant to be a short holiday to see my family in the English countryside.

We left Beijing on August 3 2013. And we didn’t go back.

A combination of the bad air, the approaching Beijing winter, Alex’s hectic travel and work schedule meant we kept extending our trip.

Christmas came and went and we were still living with my parents in the UK.

It was such a strange time and we missed Alex terribly. But he visited when he could and he knew I had my family’s support and could finally stop worrying about the air.

In February this year (2014), Alex was relocated back to Australia with his job and we all moved back to our house in Sydney. We’ve been back in Australia for a good seven months but I only deleted my Beijing air quality app a few weeks ago. It was a great feeling.

Beijing seems like a dream now. I’m sorry I skipped out of our Chinese adventure early and I’m sorry I didn’t say a proper goodbye to our friends there. But I don’t regret taking Ted away from the smog. The air is wonderful. And I’ll never take it for granted again.

Image Credit: Pink Cloud Portraits for the gorgeous newborn and maternity pictures.